EPISODE #270 – R.I.P Facebook, Vale MySpace!

So Pete says Facebook is dead, he means MySpace. MySpace… Well hello!! Captain Kirk to the bridge. Anyone still getting any traffic through their MySpace? I was offering naked pictures of Yulia Tymoshenko (watch this website’s traffic go through the roof now!!) on mine and nothing! No hits. Proof positive that it’s dead! Either that or she has an over exposed shenko. I hate an over exposed shenko!! So Rupert wasted his money on buying MySpace then huh? Sooooo sad for him!! How else is he going to meet his next wife?

Now many of us receive some strange things in our emails – this week i received a solicitation to join a brothel, and second brothel email about a competition to win a session (or two). Maybe their MySpace pages aren’t going to well…

Battle for Bennelong, looking at the upcoming Australian election, revealed this week that no one really wants Little Johnny! How do i know? Facebook told me!! Okay so it’s not the best poll in the world, but at least it avoids the usual media bias. And how did it go for the candidates? Let me put it this way. K-Rudd doubles Little Johnny’s results… and that’s with National Party preferences added. Oh dear… So here’s the theory. Little Johnny will be rolled before the election by his own party. He will stage it so he technically doesn’t lose the election, his successor does. Then if the populace want a change of leader, maybe the Liberals can gain a few points and possibly scrape it in. Hmmmm, who knows. Thoughts, thoughts. Meanwhile the government sponsored “Australian Work Study” has found that despite what the government says lower paid workers are WORSE OFF under the new AWAs. Isn’t it lucky that the media are ignoring this story! Now kids – get excited, the PM Little Johnny organised a big party for you this Xmas. There’ll be floats and streamers and Santa in a huge xmas parade in each capital city! Now I’m not too sure if you remember, but Little Johnny was scolding when the Lord Mayor of Sydney spent some huge amount of Xmas decorations one year. But it’s an election and his political skin is on the line – so it doesn’t matter now does it? He’s also given $12.5 million to the NSW Rugby League. Oh this multi million dollar CORPORATION needs our support! Thanks Little Johnny. Not like that money could have been used elsewhere. Mind you K-Rudd has been silent on it, so where’re his balls!? Stand up bitch!!!

You see we currently have a visionary government. One that balances environmental ingenuity with the needs of industry and the possibilities for strong Australian export dollars. That’s why an Australian company has been forced to go overseas to get a customer for their solar power innovation. In fact within the next 15 years the US hopes to have 30% of it’s power coming from solar power. Do you think Australia which has a bucket load of sun could benefit from this? Do you think maybe our export market could benefit from this? Well this same visionary government who ignores innovative technology, ignores the environment has let it go. May be, just may be one day someone will care and we too will be able to benefit from environmental policies for all – still by then we’ll be glowing in radioactivity!!

Hey Mr President this week was a little bit different… in fact building on Pete’s new obsession, it was Hey Mrs Prime Minister and Ukraine’s Yulia Tymoshenko. Pete loves her, he has the t-shirt, the hat, the CD and the blow up doll… wait on! Anyway Yula, from the All Ukrainian Fatherland Party is currently leading the polls. To be honest i spent most of this segment trying to think of crude jokes – so i’ll leave it up to Pete who i’m sure can tell you more… As you know all candidates in this section of the show are rated on 3 important criteria:
1] How many Social Networking Sites do you appear on – Coola Yula = 1
2] How much merchandise – Coola Yula = 2
3] How many ringtones – Coola Yula = 0

Personal web site of Yulia Tymoshenko


Now if you’re eating – maybe stop… see Richard’s been through a bit of a tough time recently. Kidney stones, wisdom teeth, losing all his experience points in World of Warcraft. But it’s his wisdom teeth that really impressed us. See for years many people thought he had tusk, and for him a few “I’m so horny” jokes here and there covered the sadness, the alienation, the pain. But with them removed Richard can re-enter normal life. No longer shunned or used as a hat stand. Look it was a good sideline, but eventually it had to stop! Now he’ll get on with life. He can read his books on Trafalgar with out tearing the pages, normal women can be attracted to him – women without facial hair! It’s a new life – let’s help him move forward!!

Fuck-O-Meter this week:
R: 3 (amazingly restrained these days)
P: 4 (mainly when talking about Yula)
A: 2 (oh dear)
FuckOMeter 030907.JPG

Abe Written by:

Be First to Comment

Leave a Reply