EPISODE #269 – Dinner For Two

Man years ago, in a galaxy far far away there was a show, distant in the memories of some, but a fresh pusstulent sore to others – and so was Episode #269.

As pop culture seeps even further into our everyday lives, as the world becomes a global community, it’s refreshing to see that rampant US culture has become so much a part of Australian life that the Emmys (which in reality bear absolutely no relevance to our society) find them selves broadcast on our TV screens. And that’s how Dr Phil, Oprah, Lindsay Lohan all entered our lives! Well Lindsay would have got to us eventually as she makes her way through the male population.

So with much abandon and in quick succession we covered musical flashbacks to 1994 music, Richard choking on some meat (not the first time i might tell you!!), Damon measuring up to Pitt – get the ruler kids, Sopranos vs Home and Away, Richard’s mysterious bladder problems, questions about Pete’s sexuality, and exactly what was Abe talking about…?

So the election fast approaches… Downer seems to be in the drivers seat – be afraid, be very afraid, Howard’s going to hand over to… someone… during his next term. Or is he? It seems to change from week to week! So who would you be voting for with your ballot? Well it’s russian roulette really isn’t it?! But thankfully this hasn’t stopped him spending your tax dollars at the rate of $1billion. Hospitals didn’t need that, schools didn’t need that, drought assistance didn’t need that – but you know who did? His floundering election hopes. Get the hint Johnny – GO AWAY!!!

Big F*#king Brother, the segment that monitors those who monitor us, took aim at new ASIO powers which give them new powers to arrest you now. Warrant? What warrant? They can seize your website, phone call records.. .oh it’s on Big Brother – it’s on!!! Kyle mightn’t have been able to handle the heat, but the rest of us’ll take you on!

And in new from “Did I Really Pay for That Survey” it’s been discovered that Australian’s are now afraid of planes, the government and… beards. Yes beards! Well there goes the ticket sales for the US female Ice Hockey team!

Battle for Bennelong this week saw Little Johnny No Hope and Maxamillion McKew appear at the same fete. Oh yes, vitally important national political policy here! They didn’t cross paths, in fact if Little Johnny spent most of the day avoiding water in case some touched him and he melted. The Armenians want the candidates to condemn the Armenian Genocide by Turks around the WW1 era. Little Johnny says no, Maxine says yes. Don’t screw with the Armenians Johnny, you’ll be sorry!!

Somewhere here Abe exploded…

Peaches again raised her ginger mop, but unfortunately for her she recently lost her prime seat at a club in favour of Ashley Simpson. Ashley Simpson? Oh that’s sooooooooooo c class celebrity. Poor Peaches, she’ll have to go back to blowing the doorman. In fact she’s in the bad books right now – she thinks Bob’s Boomtown Rats performance at Live 8 was crappy. In fact she said it “sucked”. Well Petal, if anyone knows about sucking, it’d be you!

Fuck-O-Meter this week:
P: 2
R: 1
A: 4… yes well i told you there was an explosion!!
FuckOMeter 0807.JPG

Abe Written by:

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