Putting his money where his mouth is Richard has bit the bullet, put his left foot in, then his left foot out, his left foot in and shook it all about – and enrolled to vote… He’ll be able to be on a jury, get junk mail, AND end up on the government black list for the APEC meeting! “Democracy, missing in action”! Now for those excited by this, you have to understand how Richard votes. You see he draws a large phallus on the voting paper, then just randomly fills in number. Weird you think? Well check this out; Pete on the other hand goes into the booth, downs pantaloons, and just wraps the sheet around his member. Oh and if you were wondering, i can’t vote… still on day release! See – don’t say we take this seriously.
The government have decided they will call a national emergency and solve the “Aboriginal Crisis”. Now this is a serious issue. Long have the indigenous people pf Australia been marginalised, ignored, and till recently killed by not only the former categories, but also by poison, bullets and starvation. God Bless Australia! Now lets put this into perspective; this policy has been released by a very unpopular government 6 months out from an election. They have made a unilateral decision to engage in a “policing action” which will involve the police and the military. Now let me ask you this – have you noticed any one who may be able to help that is missing from the group just listed? Hmmmm, maybe doctors, nurses, social workers, engineers, architects, plumbers, town planners, environmental scientists, teachers, and major corporations? Yes, they would be able to help – but instead, Little Johnny has gone all GWB and sent in people with guns. So what’s the reaction been? Well the populace, already with the memories of “The Stolen Generation” in their minds, have done what they naturally would do – flee. They have now left the lives they know to become refugees in their own country. And we know how much this government loves refugees. This is all about spin. The percentage of alcoholics and abusers is no higher in the aboriginal community than it is in the white community. So why send in the army?? This is just more “them and us” politics from Little Johnny. In reality this wouldn’t be happening if they were white!
An Evian-powered Richard, and Passion-Pop Pete then moved onto the Battle for Bennelong. Little Johnny, ironically at the St Kevin Festival in downtown Eastwood, to open his new campaign office (it’s easy to spot – it’s the one with the guard towers and the “Whites Only” sign out the front) has published yet another article in the local paper, the TWT (Totally Worthless Text). This time he extols the virtues of local governance and the importance of the community – while at the same time running the most successful federalist integration since federation! Oh Johnny, if only your arse wasn’t subsuming your head you may be able to see the light.
UltraVox were a band, were a bad band… aaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway… Midge Ure (picture below) was a member (and what a member) but these days he just seems to get honorary doctorates. Medicine, the arts, hair dressing, Master of the Wang – he has them all! Including being the secret identity of Doctor Doom – evil protagonist to the Fantastic Four! What does that mean? I don’t know!
So Peaches is getting her own reality TV show. Apparently it’s like Paris’ except without that horrible cheap green night vision lens. Peaches will be using the latest technology in night vision as a crew follow her around in her daily life. Thankfully they have the latest technology on Macro lens’ too – that way they can film DJ Ping’s micro doodle and Peaches brain and still keep them in the same shot!
Fuck O Meter this week was interesting:
Pete – 4
Richard – 0 (on a technicality)
Abe – 2