WBF Show 320 – I love the sound of static in the morning (circa 2009)


OK, there really is not a lot to say about this. This is the final WBF show ever broadcast on 2RRR, Sydney’s number one community station, the voice of the people and home of HARDCORE. It happened in 2009, sometime in April. This change was necessitated by a number of factors. One, we believed that terrestrial broadcasting was as dead as the chances of Tony Abbott winning an election and becoming Prime Minister (oh, how that idea us made us laugh in an era where we actually let PM’s be leader for more than 47 days – yes, we are looking you Julia, you started this). Two, we thought in the end that these ‘internets’ would dominate the world, allow us to be the next media superstars and take what was simply ground breaking comedy. Ground. Breaking. Comedy. And Three, I think we offended pretty much everyone we possibly could have with this show. We offended K.Rudd. We offended cats. We offended Osama Bin Laden. We offended Matt Curley. We offended Abe. And Pete was the most offended of us all. It caused us so much offence that we went nearly 6 years before we got together in a studio and did another show and he moved to another fucking country.

Let’s be fair. I could run through all the lines. ‘Good looks. Big Dick. I even bought the t-shirt. Armani designed it.’ Who was Captain Planet and why was he called that. French Weaponry. Abe watches the Wire (which is now ‘classic’ TV). Say something French…oui! Fuck Telstra, Abe, do you own any Telstra shares? Technophages. Richard predicted the end of Telstra…how did that work out? If only he had said Australia Post, what a prescient mother he would have been. What are fighting in Afghanistan for? More uses of the word ‘fuck’ than ever. We gave up counting after the intro. One of the issues we have is that our show is timeless in an entirely time locked way. So, we are unapologetic in the way that this show is entirely rooted (tee-hee) in the politics of 2009. When you think about, how much has actually happened in that time? 4 changes of PM, Pete living in the UK for six years under a conservative junta. 3 NSW Premiers. 8 trips back to Australia by Pete through various hipster colonies. Eighteen different recipes for gin gimlets. Richard converting to Scientology and Mormonism. Abe dating Peta Credlin. A Peta Credlin, not the Peta Credlin.. 97 internet memes featuring Kim Kardhasian. One gold and white dress. Kanye West.

Oh, and a mention of Leonard Nimoy. RIP Spock. Live long and Prosper.

It never rains but it pours, constantly. All the fucking time. Drizzle. More WBF history part II

PART II of our gift back to you. Three more tracks of dubious origin, but award winning thespianity. We give you two Shakespeare inspired pieces, plus one less Shakespeare, more Coleridge. And you never know, you might even laugh.

Romeo and Juliet

This is the very first sketch we wrote and it one of the only truly collaborative sketches we did. It is probably not that funny as we were trying to be smart. We soon learnt that fart sounds and the word rectum were funnier than Shakespeare. Oh how right we were, Kyle.

Hamlet

Keeping up the same theme, here is a sketch written by Richard and acted by Richard and Pete doing his worst posh british accent. That skill however has been incredibly useful in his new career as a butler to a variety of minor royalty.

Blokes again

Oh dear. Culture at last. Richard and Pete do Coleridge and Chisel, at once, in the same sketch. I think Pete wrote this one. Like almost everything we did, it was extremely Pythonesque.

It never rains but it pours, merchandise from the WBF audio archive


See, we told you we were back motherfuckers. We have decided that really, after years of recording to Edison cylinder (see Shows 1-200) and then updating for the post digital age and putting out all our shows on 8 track cassette, it was time to discover ‘the internet’. Now to be fair, none of us really understand the ‘internets’ and ‘the world wide web’. We are, at heart, technophobes and luddites. (although funny story, luddites weren’t actually anti-technology, they were pro-work – Perhaps we might be better described as Neo-Luddites, who according to Wikipedia represent the cause of ‘Neo-Luddism (which) has emerged to describe opposition to many forms of technology, According to a manifesto drawn up by the Second Luddite Congress (April 1996; Barnesville, Ohio), Neo-Luddism is “a leaderless movement of passive resistance to consumerism and the increasingly bizarre and frightening technologies of the Computer Age.’ Oh wait…)

Sorry, what was I saying…
Oh.
Yes. Luddites.

We have put some of our archive material on Soundcloud, free to use and download, all creative commons, all the time. We shall be uploading more and more over the next few weeks. Is it any good? We will be judge of that. Will it win us the Grammy we have craved for decades? Maybe. And then, maybe, just maybe, Kanye will interrupt Beyonce to say it is a travesty that we were robbed of glory.

Here are the first three for your sonic arousal. Fifty shades my arse.

Right-ho kids, you can now make your own A Walk in the Black Forest! Go back to Show 1 and start again!! Be Richard!! Be Pete!! Be Abe!!!! or even, be Alex! Hours and hours of fun can be had by all.


This is an early sketch written by Pete and with characters played by Richard and Alex. It might be funny, maybe.

This was a later period sketch written by Pete, from an idea based on Abe’s ‘hey chicano’ verbal meme and clearly demonstrates the breadth and depth of our acting skills (oh, and Richards inability to do a Latino accent at the time, ask him now, you would think he was Marc Anthony. Oh, and Home Yardage is a fabric chain in Australia. It might also be a little racialist. Sorry

WBF Show 321: Tinder and Grndr – Just for research

Right. There are two ways to approach to this.  We could simply spill the beans.  Make reference to gaps, breaks, holidays and hiatus (yes, we had that cured).  But you know, does anyone really care?  I don’t. Abe certainly doesn’t. Richard just doesn’t understand the whole thing. Now Abe cries. Peter giggles. Richard farts.  Abe cries again. You know the trope.

 

This is a Walk in the Black Forest, Show 321. Almost everything we predicted in Show 320 never happened.  Apparently, the liberals won the election and Tony Abbott became Prime Minister.  It was then that we knew we were dreaming.  It was a vision inspired by a truckload of Ketamine, some mushrooms we found under a tree in a farm owned by Asher Keddie and these tiny blue pills prescribed by our doctor for a thing called ‘E.D’.

 

In the end, WBF show 321 almost like felt six years had passed, but clearly it hadn’t.  I checked my watch.   It was still 2009.  I am still waiting patiently for the London Olympics.  I am listening to my Bill Cosby records. Rolf is a national hero. Knighthoods will never exist again.  A German is Pope, and he used to be be in the Hitler Youth. And that’s better.  KRudd is a national hero and Julia will stand by him no matter what. Gary Glitter, well he is just a pervert really.

 

What the hell, listen to the show. See if you can find meaning in the chaos.  See if there is a polished turd amongst the sea of shits and giggles. And maybe, just maybe, we might be back once in a while to ride the wave of the post-digital age, to laugh and mock uproariously at the idea of an on-going Liberal government and to continue making the case, to everyone who will listen, we were just on Tinder and Grndr for RESEARCH. R.E.S.E.A.R.C.H.

 

 

or for those locked into ‘old’ media. Also, this is where you might find hundreds of hours of fun.

 

 

 

 

t-minus some time or other

prepare for something to come.  douche if you feel you need to, perhaps a spritz of 4711 or old spice (whatever your poison).  As soon as we solve the age old issues of timezones and Pete’s wanky travel adventures, we can bring you more ……..  (insert your rude ideas here)

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and now…

more hot politicians

one this time for laaadies


Mexican Presidente Vicente Fox!

Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes

Ladies and gentleman, it is I that have to apologise for the delayed return of your favourite pum, bum und fart humourmongers.  I have been on a quest, a mission, a pilgrimage if you will to find something that seems to be hiding from me, taunting me with hope and then vanishing faster than malcolm turdbills hair rinse.  Yes, I have searched the world high and low.  I have travelled, yes my friends, I have travelled, I have travesed, I have travailled, I have trav-cationed to exotic locales such as Bristol, Dallas, Aachen and well, to be honest, Paris to find this rare and elusive thing.  No, its it not nude pictures of  Tzipi Livni (But if you have any, you are a sick puppy, destroy them NOW!) nor is it the musing sof John Howard about the glory of the ashes (although I did have to listen to that, made me violently sick all over keyboard).  No, it’s the search for the miracle that is the

THE INTERNET

Once I have found it, we can start insulting everyone we like

Message ends

Peace Out

Putting the ‘boom’ back into boombox

So, Abe tags this series of shows that officially revel the ‘other’ big announcement.  Of course, those of you who have been following this blog would know that we revealed in the first big announcement that Abe was a woman.  He would like to thank all of you who have sent him lingerie, stunning sass and bide dresses, some hot ksubi low slung jeans and a those slingback Manolo Blahniks are just stunning on him, makes his legs look so long…but the bastard who is trying to peddle pics of Abe dressed only in a belt, I’d heard the Tele is in the market…

Show 319  – The Big Announcement

On this show, we have a report from a Ministerial press conference, we explore like *everyone* Pauline Hansons nipples, Barack watch, and Dick Cheney acting like a giant tool (Part 651), we start www.gitmo.com and the classic Coon(an) watch and of course the BIG FUCKING ANNOUNCEMENT!

Show: http://www.archive.org/download/wbfshow319/wbfshow319.mp3

Details: http://www.archive.org/details/wbfshow319

Show 320 – The Show after the big announcement

Ron Paul, K-RUDD hangs with out with Will Ferrell, Eros Foundation busts Hansons nut, and then Richard disses Joss Whedon, how fucking dare he…bastard

 

Show: http://www.archive.org/download/wbfshow320/wbfshow320.mp3

Details: http://www.archive.org/details/wbfshow320

The worlds ‘hottest’ opposition leader

and you though we were going to say Turdbill, you sick little puppies.  No, indeed these weeks made no mention of Tzipi Livni, the Kadima leader from the Israeli Knessit, but you know what, heres a pic for you anyway!

ANYWAAAAYYYYY, here are shows 317 and 318, almost caught, we have…

 

Show 317 – Richard and Pete learn what its like to be there without Abe Part 2

OceanNET and Gupta, Richard talks about breasts on anime girls, no disclaimer (OMG!!), aunty doris’s cash wad (ewww), abe’s porn channel, http:///www.walkblackforest.org/porn/cashwad

Show: http://www.archive.org/download/wbfshow317/wbfshow317.mp3

Details: http://www.archive.org/details/wbfshow317

 

 

Show 318 – Smeg Raaaadddiiiooooo!
Pete compares K’s Choice to a beer, they discuss the Shooters Guide to Meat and the only way to get the book comes from the depths of depravity, Dave’s simple goat blank…., Chris Bath, K-RUDD dropping the S bomb (godammned I’d hoped for the C-Bomb)

Show: http://www.archive.org/download/wbfshow318/wbfshow318.mp3

Details: http://www.archive.org/details/wbfshow318

The big announcement

Did you hear the ‘big announcement’? It was a magic night on air as the team from a WBF finally announced the big announcement of all big announcements, announcing it from the annunication hill at the Sands Casino and Doughnut House, Las Vegas, Indiana.

Oh, you fucks want to hear the announcement? Selfish bastards. You will have to find it in one of the following podcasts, that through the magic of radio, have all appeared at once in your little RSS feed.

But if you want a hint…shhhh, come in close. Closer. Closer. Not that that close, I’m married. Abe is a woman. Here, see the pic.

We have been digitially altering his voice for years, fiddling with the bass tones, tinkling with the harmonics and generally dealing with the high pitched screeches, and well, leaving them in there for posterity. There you go, the big announcement. Wow, I feel so much better now thats out in the open. How about you Abe?

OK, so to the shows…

Show 315 – Richard and Pete learn the benefit of post-production
Oh yes, there is such a thing, even such a polished, well-rehearsed and scripted show like ours. Especially, where lynch mobs are concerned
Show: http://www.archive.org/download/wbfshow315/wbfshow315.mp3

Details: http://www.archive.org/details/wbfshow315

 

Show 316 – John Howard, full of shit, full of shit, full of shit
John Howard is a weenie little ideologue, stevie let your hair hang down, getting stimulated, coon is a type of cheese, it is NOT SHOOTING THE MONKEY, abe explains what simulus is (with and without a video camera) and we countdown to the big announcement (which you already know!)

Show: http://www.archive.org/download/wbfshow316/wbfshow316.mp3

Details: http://www.archive.org/details/wbfshow316