EPISODE #243 – The Schmoodle Chronicles

Many strange things happen in the WBF studio. It’s where they hid Harold Holt… i just won’t tell you who hid Harold Holt! This week, apart from leap-frogging Harold, Richard decided it it was an opportune moment to punch Pete in the arm. Makes a change from where he’d want to punch him… boom boom!!!

Impartiality in government is important – which is why the Howard junta have decided to get Ziggy (The Zig) Switkowski, the head of the Uranium Association to head up the “impartial” government inquiry on whether we should have nuclear power stations in Australia. Of course this isn’t an emotive issue now is it? Lets treat it with contempt. Nice work Little Johnny!! This lead Pete to wonder about any inquiry into an Australian withdrawal from Iraq. With this kind of impartiality, we’re thinking Donald Rumsfeld, maybe former Head of the Military Peter Cosgrove to be the people to decide. God help us all!

With Little Johnny now becoming Climate-Warrior Howard, he took the opportunity to not meet with self-appointed bastion of goodness and ethical standards Bono. Strangely enough Bono did get to meet OberSturmbanfuhrer Costello. You’d think this would appease the moral minority – but Costello’s brother, in an act of sibling rivalry, has come out again to smack him down! Timbo Costello, God’s Archangel in Australia, has come forth (so many altar boy jokes) to say his brother really doesn’t get it. Timbo – dude – if we’re taking moral guidance from Bono, a man who thinks that true salvation from poverty and hunger is by spreading the word of the Catholic Church (the very body that has perpetuated the spread of AIDs and poverty in the 3rd world), then it’s not the Obersturmbanfuhrer who needs a reality check – it’s us!!

Pete played a Danzig song – Danzig’s a pussy!!

Little Johnny (or Soft Cock John if you prefer) has come out and told the world that Australia is now permanently part of Asia. Obviously he had a word with God and is pretty much convinced that the Australian continent isn’t going to be moving closer to the UK or the US and time soon. But it gives us an insight into what LJ has been on about this whole time. See by erasing human rights; locking refugees up, getting rid of economic considerations for the old and the sick, not signing onto the International Conventions of the Child – we are in fact bringing ourselves into line with a region governed by despots, dictators and religious zealots. Does he know this is a democracy though?

Apparently Band Aid was one of the greatest Entertainment Highlights in History – mind you, so was Michael Hutchence hanging himself according to the report Richard brought in. It was at this point that Pete used his encyclopedic knowledge to re-educate us on Hutchence family tree… Patricia Forsythe are you Michael Hutchence’s mum??

Think your life at school sucked? Well then, imagine if your name was Gandalf, Arsenal, Gazza (as the full name), Reebox, or Adidas. I’d also feel sorry for the kid called Superman…

Millions of Peaches this week was practically bereft of Peaches herself. But she was there to celebrate Michael Jackson’s recent pop award victory… must have been a proud moment. No uncomfortable silences there!!! At the same ceremony, Lindsay Lohan, who was hosting – was boo-ed off stage!! This is where we found out some more about Pete than we ever wanted to. Apparently he’s a big fan of ol’ Firecrotch!! Don’t know who Lindsay Lohan is? Try this. Or then again you may know her more recently from this:

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The Fuck O Meter this week:
Richard: 5
Peter: 3
Abe: 0
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Abe Written by:

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