EPISODE #241 – 1st Annual Bikini Face off

Many things in life concern me; global warming, American Imperialism, Pete and Richard going to the toilet at the same time – but none so frightening as the prospect Pete put forth while discussing the US Mid Term Elections. Yes, Kirsty Ally and GWB in a bikini face off. You see Kirsty’s lost some weight, so she’s going on Oprah to show the world how great she looks. GWB lost a lot of seats in the afore mentioned elections this week – so he’s going on Oprah to show all the baggage he’s lost. First and foremost Donald Rumsfeld. Rummy, we’ll miss you! I’m sure the free people’s of the world won’t, but then again i’m sure some other narrow minded neo-fascist will come along to prove you were actually forward thinking in comparison… John Bolton anyone?

While many other parts of the world face US expansion via tanks and amphibious landing craft, Australia missed out. All we got was some paper and a Prime Minister with absolutely no back bone. The Free Trade Agreement (or as i like to call it “The Pax Americ-anus”) has basically meant we will do what America wants, when they want, and how they want it done. Sovereignty? NOOOOOOOO, we don’t need that when Uncle Sam know’s best!! So the latest selling technique used by Little Johnny and his goons of Laxness, has given us the new Copyright Laws. Oh so now you can video tape a show! Great!! BUT, somewhere in the impenetrable language of this agreement, we lost the rights to just about anything else. Like digital music? Sorry, can’t have that anymore! Want to import a DVD from the states? Sorry – you’re fukt my fine feathered friend!! Hey, don’t look at us – we didn’t vote for them, but your parents probably did!!

The well respected and influencial Time Magazine has chosen a list of people who have influeneced and changed our lives in a positive way. This of course coming from the magazine that brought you Man of the Year GWB. Impartial? Up to date? Contemporary? You make up your own mind! Now on the list we had such notables as the highly derivative JK Rowling, everyone’s favourite fascist Margaret Thatcher who single handedly ruined an entire nation, the dualing world “champions of the poor” Bob Geldof and Bono, and of course the man almost solely responsible for the spread of AIDs in Africa and Latin America, Pope John Paul II. Go John Paul!! Good to see these people will live on in the minds of the weak and stupid as people to praise. Next year, Idi Amin, Stalin, Peaches Geldof, Paris Hilton and Kim Jong Il…

Speaking of pregtentious egomaniacs, Peaches!! Millions of Peaches in fact. This week she was missing though. This week her dad – Boomtown Bob – strutted the stage as he urges the world to buy bonds to pay for vaccines that will go to the poor of Africa. Good old Bob, TV specials, bonds, music!! Now the question is, vaccine against what? Can you vaccinate against poverty or hunger? If only there was a vaccine against self absorbed arseholes, then we could all get vaccinated against him and his bloody daughter!

Although God himself/ herself banned the Fuck ‘o’ Meter last week – this week it returned. All round only 3 really stuck out… 3 each mind you! What do you think this is Play School?

Abe Written by:

Be First to Comment

Leave a Reply