He’s sorry!
He really really is!
I mean look, in retrospect, Work Choices – not the best idea.
Northern Territory Intervention – good, bad… who can say?!
Cutting education spending every year for 11 years – probably not too positive long term.
Invading Iraq – well it got us in the papers and GWB is happy, so the death toll can be forgiven.
Tax cuts that international experts say favoured the rich – well you have to pay for the votes now don’t you?!
Saying “sorry to the Aborigines” – STILL CAN’T DO IT!!!
Little Johnny, get with it son! You lost. Admit defeat. Walk away. Keep your mouth shut, take up bowls, wear a cardigan, be a man and APOLOGISE!!
Vent over…
So PM K-Rudd said a long-waited for “sorry” to Australia’s indigenous people. The previous government wouldn’t, even members of said government (now in highly paid semi-retirement in opposition) boycotted, read magazines or refused to acknowledge the apology. They really are bastards aren’t they!! Little Johnny didn’t turn up to the ceremony, even though every living PM did. His old ministers are back-peddling from his ideologically barren wasteland of conservative number crunching socially irresponsible governance. How quickly the mighty have fallen – and they can’t even face it. The Aboriginal peoples of Australia aren’t the only ones who need an apology. How about the poor, the sick, mentally ill, the immigrants, the refugees, the Iraqis, the students, the defence personnel who sue the crappy equipment you send them to war with, the teachers who have to do their jobs with less funding than ever, the community organisations who struggle like never before to help those less fortunate. Stand up Little Man!! Admit your hate driven agenda. Apologise, move away and never come back. You may be up for consideration for the Order of the Garter… you’ll have to wrestle Downer for it!
Bloody hell Vent Mk2 over… I’m sorry!!
Okay, so Peter Costello, unsure how to tie his shoes now Johnny isn’t doing it for him, has walked away… or has he. We think he’s biding his time. He’s always wanted to be the Fairy Queen and it’s months till Christmas. Maybe this year they’ll pick him now that little guy’s gone! Mind you Downer’s still wearing last year’s costume – tights, wig and all! He’s also waiting to become leader. But, as Poll Smoking told us this week, his adversary Doc Nelson is having trouble. Only 32% of people think he’s doing a good job – compared to the PMs 71%. In fact 51% of Liberal voters think K-Rudd is better than Doc Nelson, and 63% of Liberal voters think that Costello would be better. Oddly 84% of Liberal voters believe Menzies is frozen and are waiting for the day he can be unfrozen to lead Australia into a newly enlightened age of no unions, all white buses, and gloves and hats for ladies. Not big fans of burkas ironically!!
Now Pete’s been absent.. physically, emotionally, spiritually if you believe Jamie Durie’s blog… but in reality he’s been O.S. (which is code for “not anywhere near you, you poor toss-bucket”). In his adventures he’s discovered “Schiesser” brand underwear, and a kids clothing range called “Scat”. Now i know advertisers think being literal is fun – but “Scat”? All the Germans will be lining up to buy it… or maybe just chew on it…! Eeeewww.
The US Presidential Election is heating up, with everyone’s favourite kill-joy Ralph Nader getting involved to divide the Democratic vote. See Ralph’s an idiot! He thinks he knows everything, and in effect cost John Kerry some very important votes in the last US Presidential Election – leaving GWB the victor. This time he is expected to take votes for Obama, who’s supporters are more likely to go left than Hillary’s supporters who love Bill. In fact get too close and you can love him… in a physical way. Hillary doesn’t mind – she just likes the access to getting high paying clients for her law firm. Jaded? You bet your bippy Constable Carruthers!
Now, Richard thinks the US would have gone to war in Iraq whether GWB was there or not. Pete and I agree that Afghanistan was going to happen after 911 no matter what – but Iraq? Not too sure. But that being said Richard HATES Al Gore. Why? “They call her Tipper, Tipper, faster than lyrics, no one can see… because i said so…!!”
All i can say is this: Do these two look hard and fast? It’s Whore-llary!! Vote for her = expect more!
Obama, Obama, go go Obama!!!
… and finally, K-Rudd hates pirates. He hates the beards, the peg legs, that parrot and the constant “arrrrgh”-ing. You have to face it… it’s annoying! Not only do they act weirdly, they run illegal bit torrents. I think that’s what Pete and Richard were talking about. Apparently their boats now ply the seas sending files around, bouncing them to Sweden and back to your PC (or Mac…). Now if you use these boats (pretty sure you have to use a life vest… not too sure), you can use them twice, but if you use the boats again, then the Coast Guard are allow to sink your ISP. I think that’s right… Now the worst of these pirates are the porn pirates. No peg leg there! Just a giant vibrating dildo. Their ships, like The Penetrator, The Thrustmaster and The Black Hole Rimmer, sail the waves of lube ripping and streaming rippling masses of flesh to users at home. Really i got confused at this point. I’m not too sure about these pirates. They sound a bit gay!
The Fuck-O-Meter this week was off the chart.
P: 4
R: 4
A: 3
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrr!
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