If i told you Richard had been keeping a close eye on Helen Coonan’s door would you be:
a] amused?
b] surprised?
c] aroused?
d] have no idea who Helen Coonan is?
Well if you answered:
a] you would be Pete,
b] you would be Abe,
c] you would be Richard
d] everyone else because they lost the election and have absolutely no relevance now that we’re turning around all their fascist policies which they all “truly believed in” till the leader was gone and then they all ran for cover.
Mind you The Coonan mightn’t – they’re still trying to scrub the walls down after she had that viewing night of “Triumph of the Will”.
Now away from The Coonan, the US Presidential Race was being reduced to just a few contenders. Most of the Democrats had gone, which only leaves Hillary (corporate interests best friend – and what a proud legacy the Clinton name has) and Obama (the people’s true and noble defender of justice and light). What??!! I’m not picking sides – i just say it as i see it! I can’t vote, so it’s my only option!!
Speaking of women who are passed their expiry date; Senator John McCain. No he’s not a woman, but his mum is (or was at some point). Let’s face the facts, McCain’s a mummy’s boy! Oh i hear you say “he went to war, raised a family of his own, supported the killing of untold Iraqis – all manly things”. Well yes, true, but when a 72 year old man takes mum on the campaign trail when he has a perfectly able (and i would argue quite hot for 54- why else would he have cheated on his first wife with her) wife why would mum come along? To wipe his bum? Okay so here’s some background… oh stuff it – look, she’s 96. If that doesn’t seem that old, how about this… ninety six! Knit, watch Oprah, stop looking after your boy!
Mrs McCain Snr
Okay so away from US politics for now, the PM K-Rudd (Righter of Wrongs, Starter of Committees, De-baller of Gillard) has been on a mission to right the evils of the Howard government. Tear up Work Choices, say “sorry”, question our long-term Iraqi mission… it’s all happening! What K-Rudd needs is a mantra, and i think we have one. Bush Snr had “4 More Years”, Bush Jnr had “Where’s you at…?”, Bill Clinton had “Why Didn’t You Just Swallow?” – but K-Rudd needs more. How about “K-Rudd – No More Howard Legacy”. The conservative media are trying their best to talk Little Johnny up, his achievements etc, but really they’re flogging a dead horse! Bring on the end to the Howard Legacy – Bring on the K-Rudd Era.
Ironically we talked about Rudy Giulianni and body count in the same segment. Not what you might think, but now Giulliani is supporting John McCain we can stop seeing his stupid head on TV. That being said, the body count bit was in reference to Rambo 4. Funnily enough Stallone has been doing the rounds of US talk shows and talking about the repression in Burma (where the film is set). Originally the film was going to be him returning to Afghanistan (post Rambo 3 and the Russian withdrawal) to fight the Taliban he was actually helping in Rambo 3. Too ironic, so they sent him to Burma to kill some people who the US might be able to defeat if they could be bothered… there could be oil!
World Youth day, or as some Catholic priests like to call it “the smorgasbord”, is going ahead with glee. You see the NSW state government have come to the party, and as if Catholic repression of 3rd world nations isn’t enough, Morris Enema and his crew of dildo-monkeys have decided that draconian police powers are in order. We will be in lockdown, similar to the ASEAN meeting. Actually it might work quite well. I know of a certain person coming her especially who has a Nazi past, was the official in charge of covering up the abuse of children all around the world by Catholic priests, and has spoken of Islam as an evil. Maybe these powers could stop him… no? Oh why am i not surprised!!! I’ll look forward to seeing Morris and this Cabinet Circus kissing the Pope’s ring. Oh and i actually meant ring, not ‘ring’… still there is time!
Fuck O Meter this week:
P: 3
R: 2
A: 2 (shame on you Hood-boy)
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