EPISODE #272 – Carbonated Steven Seagal

Game on!!! The election is a go. It’s been a long time coming – hell it’s been over a decade for the thinking people of Australia…

With his usual attempt at bipartisan-ness, Richard (always diplomatic, always one for reconciliation) has, for the best interests of the nation decided to respond to Little Johnny No-Hopes tax cut by throwing a vote or two his way. Now that’s sacrifice. Mind you if it was true we would have taken him out the back of Studio 7 and beaten him to a Tasmanian pulp mill. Mind you it’s not surprising after Pete’s chequered history with the Exclusive Brethren that this is even on the cards. $320 million transfers to them from Pete’s holiday account can’t go unnoticed.

With Little Johnny’s tax cut mainly going to his rich buddies, it’s not really too surprising that no one is that impressed. Of course on top of scare campaigns, and the “resources boom” economy, there’s not too much to cheer about really. The IMF have said this tax cut will increase inflation and badly damage Australia’s economy. I mean what would they know? The International Monetary Fund… just left wing hacks!!

Moving away from politics for a moment we embraced Steven Seagal’s Bolt. No not his “blue bolt”, but the carbonated beverage made with “secret extracts from the East”; the mighty Goji Berry and of course the mysterious Asian Cordyceps. Are they real, or the bad guys from Star Trek IV? Who knows, but Steven “I used to kill for the CIA” Seagal is making a packet! And why not – his acting sucks! Maybe selling tonics will be a better career move!
Now onto an Election Watch Special looking at the WBF Marginal Seat Guide. The first this week is Wentworth, home of Malcolm Turd-bill, Federal Environment Minister who’s too embarrassed by his own government to have Little Johnny on his election material. Now Malcolm was parachuted into this seat, unseating a very popular local candidate, and earning the ire off the locals. In fact this seat was SO safe it was John Hewson’s seat. Remember him? Nah, me either!! But no longer. Young Malcolm has turned his happy Liberal electorate in to an angry mob – not easy in the Eastern Suburbs. He wants to save the whales, he’s anti-Kyoto, but he’s all man… just ignore the boat shoes!
Pete predicts he’ll lose it by 5%, I say 7%, Richard doesn’t care.
Meanwhile Dobell is held by the Liberals with a margin of 4.9%. But maybe not for long. Conservative area of people who made use of the Howard Government’s past tax pay-offs, will it all come home to roost?
Pete predicts they’ll hold it, I say they’ll hold it with Family First preferences, Richard was cleaning his Nebelwerfer.

With a packed show, we finished with Battle for Bennelong. Little Johnny’s posters have been graffitied, and surprisingly he looks better with horns and fangs. Maxine’s campaign has gone grass roots, but frankly if she doesn’t put her head up the Liberal Party lawnmower is going to take it off, but with Peter Garrett, Bob Hawke and Bob Carr all coming to visit, maybe that will add some energy to her campaign. Go Maxine!!

The Fuck O Meter this week was again a bit excited!
R: 9
P: 4
A: 1
FuckOMeter 1009071.JPG

Abe Written by:

Be First to Comment

Leave a Reply