With the classic Hollywood good looks and Jedi mind tricks of the Early Curly fading into the mist, the show can return to normal, minus 3 gerbils which mysteriously disappeared after Matt’s appearance.
It started well, Pete had a bad day and Richard had just recently returned to sleeping with Ben Affleck. With Matt Damon away filming it wasn’t difficult to get back on track, but we all worry about the expected sadness that will engulf him when Ben does what Ben does and this “Gigli” of relationships again goes sour.
Now the leap from boob jobs to Facebook would seem strained, but no – not on this show. You see in the US women can register on a website to have random guys pay for them to get a boob job. The men can send messages (at $1.50 US a message) to these girls, who can then get the $5,000 to get huge plastic boobs. Not a fan of huge plastic boobs myself, I’m thinking this could be a way to fund the War on Terror. If all the people who thought it was a good idea actually paid for it in this fashion, i think we’d see this war end sooner. Can’t see Haliburton eating into their profits to fund it!
Facebook has been getting a hammering! From Murdoch’s media empire protecting their own interest in the now advertising revenue dwindling MySpace, to a new company on the internet security scene using it to increase their profile. Poor old Facebook is now enemy No#1! Yes it will take your employees time away from work, destroy your bandwidth in the workplace, and rot your kids teeth. Facebook – expect it to hit the election trail rhetoric some time in the next 90 days!
K-Rudd found himself in a pickle recently after it was revealed by a reporter that he had visited a club in the US in 2003 where women were partly clothed. The reporter, “Pooh” Milne (known for his own very public excesses) has decided to help his long time friend little Johnny win an election. “Pooh” loves Little Johnny – while working at Channel 7 he helped him beat Keating, defended the GST and basically kept him afloat. Now this all comes out. Despite all that, K-Rudd’s been gaining in the polls – time will tell. I feel a tax cut coming pre-election…
Hey Mr President returned with the spotlight hitting Republican candidate Sam Brownback. Let’s not say the Republicans are behind the times, but this guys website is called Issues2000.org – i think we’ve moved on don’t you? Anyway, this guy came in 3rd at the recent Iowa Straw Poll, meaning he got lots of money!! Oddly Himmler came 2nd and Adolf Eikman polled extremely well to get 1st. Good showing from the Austrian veteran. The Brownback’s an ex-evangelist Christian Conservative from Kansas, believes in Intelligent Design and walks on the beach with his trusty gun dog Billy.
As you know all candidates in this section of the show are rated on 3 important criteria:
1] How many Social Networking Sites do you appear on – The Brownback = 5
2] How much merchandise – The Brownback = 8
3] How many ringtones – The Brownback = 0
For more on The Brownback hit his blog.
The countdown to APEC begins with all New South Wales residents told to keep off the streets or expect to be shot. Well not quite, but it seems like that! From fireworks for delegates (which we aren’t allowed to see) to water cannons which as i said the other week “Looking forward to the footage of female police cadets being soaked with that going up on YouTube! ” is nothing but trouble… Kids, we’re in for a bumpy ride!
The new segment Big Fucking Brother, which looks at stupid infringements by Authorities ironically debuted with:
1] Steve Fielding of Family First saying we should ban ALL pornography from the internet and
2] School uniforms in the UK being fitted with GPS.
Strangely certain Catholic priests find both of these subjects equally arousing…
Peaches this week told the unhappy story of Alex Zane who has taken a liking to Peaches. Young Alex decided to wrestle Peaches in a loving embrace during the recent ‘V’ Festival, where Peaches took the opportunity to flash her boobs and Johnny “%#@*^!” Tourettes had to line up with the punters. The two are not unrelated incidentally!
Now also on the programme we made mention of a video from YouTube showing the firepower in the US Presidential motorcade. So here it is:
The Fuck O Meter this week was oddly standard: