EPISODE #276 – Where’s Wally?… ummmm, Pete…?!

A question heard whispered on the lips of those in the corridors of power; where’s Pete? You see dedication to duty is an important thing. Look at history; Custer stood to the last man, Constantine XIth died as his city fell around him, and of course Leni Riefenstahl – Hitler’s mouthpiece. Now of course Leni then stated she had no ideological attachment to the Nazis. Her films and writings however differed greatly – and like Pete this week – when a better invitation comes along, flees leaving his fellow troops to hold the line. His throne was left empty in anticipation of his return, at times of need the rank and file looked for his light – but alas. Where’s the love… where is the love – Fergie-style!

In the ongoing election coverage, we were very pleased to be joined by Senator Steven Conroy, Shadow Communication Minister, all ’round knowledgeable guy and champion ten-pin bowler. Didn’t know that did you? Huh, well that’s because i made it up!! Senator Conroy was actually really impressive!! He knew his stuff, he didn’t mince his words when it came to the legacy of the Howard Junta, and he used K-Rudd in context! All praise… Not everything he said went unchallenged, especially the internet filter, but overall his knowledge was both impressive and his obvious interest stood out of over Helen Coonan Cheddar. Nice work Senator – happy to have you back any time! Maybe you can explain this internet filter to Richard…

So the Police now have more powers – well not so much more powers, but they’re just keeping the powers they were supposed to have temporarily during APEC. Don’t you just love ‘temporary powers’! In fact the riot powers that weren’t used at Cronulla (too many white people may have been hurt) are now permanent – so next time the 16 year old next door has a party and it’s still going at 1am, call in the Blue Bombers and tell them there’s a riot. They still need an excuse to use that $600,000 water cannon… In fact these new powers now make it possible for Police to search cars… and aircraft. Now there you go, we only knew it was a matter of time till pigs could fly!

The Libs held their policy launch this week amongst a sea of white faces and glittering jewellery. Suffice to say the real stand out for Little Johnny and his Junta of Hate was the backing music they used. So much so that Richard, always one to dig deep (oh no, hold on, that’s “go deep”) did some investigating. The back music, so boring, so wishy-washy… Michael Bolton!!! Yep, the mullet himself! Fresh from no one buying his CDs, he’s now “Crooning for Johnny”. The most interesting thing about the policy launch was the missing 4 letter word; IRAQ. Yes, they didn’t mention it! As Australian servicemen die, the ruling government couldn’t even bother to pay tribute to those who they sent on an illegal war. No, let’s not mention it!! Let’s gloss over it – like they now gloss over aborigines, refugees, the poor and the disabled! Nice work… The one thing they also glossed over is Peter Costello’s remarks that the economic prosperity had more to do with Keating government reforms than Costello’s own policy! Oh Pete – guess who won’t be PM now!!!

Richard’s version of Hey Mr President highlighted the lesbian couple on the current Amazing Race. Apparently their exit made bigger headlines in the US than any political story. Well it certainly covered up for Hillary Clinton’s crappy record and run for the White House.

Thanks to New Weird Rant we also brought you a snippet of an interview Andrew did with Independent Candidate for Bennelong Graeme Cordiner. Do Independent Candidates help the democratic process or just divide the vote? You decide!!!

To wrap this Pete-Free edition of the show up, K-Rudd’s Facebook has become SO popular that they had to start a new page. In fact as of 22/11/2007 he had 20,100 extra friends on Facebook! So there used to be an election poll on Facebook – guess what? It’s gone!! Bugger – last time we looked K-Rudd was 75% and Little Johnny was 25%… oooops.

Fuck O Meter this week was obviously influenced by Pete not being there…
R: 1
A: 1
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EPISODE #275 – “Nooooooooooooooo Howard-o”

Now don’t say WBF doesn’t do the hard yards for you! We go far and wide to bring you all you need to know – this week all the way to the electorate of North Sydney to hear from Greens candidate Ted Nixon. North Sydney whose people are currently ruled by the repressive Hockey Regime. Bouncing Joe Hockey, bouncing all the way to less pay and conditions for workers. I wonder if he’s proud of himself? “Vote for Pedro”… more like send him to Mexico.

So Richard arrives and it takes him 2 seconds to make a fellatio reference. Are you surprised? No – me either! I’m sure as Ted sat huddled around the fire that evening, listening to his interview, little cup of tea and a biscuit on his lap, Mrs Nixon by his side and the cat Mr Fluffkins on her knee – it’s exactly what they expected to hear!

As the election draws to a close, Family First (the new darlings of the religious Right) have gone into a bit of a turf war with Fred Nile and the old school religious Right – sending preferences away from his Burn the Gays and Ban Muslims Party. Why pray tell? (insert pun here!! Boom boom) Well it’s an old fashioned turf war! The kids with their leather jackets and flick knives, Mrs Nile in her bobby-socks chewing gum and staring down the Family First ‘moles”. Oh it’s ugly!! Beat boxing verses from the King James, burning of other people’s bushes and drive-by crucifixions. Where will it end? Personally i think there’s only one real solution. The two sides, a large arena, and about 40 lions. WBF – kickin’ it old school!!

Of course there was more, from National Bingo, to Melbourne Cup where the rich celebrate hitting horses with a whip (and shouldn’t you be sooooooo proud of yourself?), to the Citizen’s Electoral Council seeing “Reds Under The Beds” at every corner and George Miglio-anus. See – busy night!!

Now one of our favourite things, apart from whiskers on chickens, is Tony Abbot. He’s a good guy! He’s not arrogant, he didn’t turn up to a national debate 30 minutes late, he didn’t call Bernie Banton (in his last days from cancer) names… he’s open and forward thinking. He doesn’t really think single mothers are morally repugnant, or that elite private schools deserve more money because they’re better people, or that abortion counselling services should be run by the Catholic Church and the Right to Life groups! Not our Tony Abbott. It’s just a shame he lives in electorate that’s so safe. Because the one thing I’d love to see is Tony Abbott having to face defeat. Having his local electorate turn on him and give him back the kind of betrayal he has given us. The legacy isn’t good Tony, it’s nothing to be proud of. Run your marathons, because the way you behave will be your true indictment – not the brand of your running shorts!

Fuck-O-Meter tonight:
P – 2
R – 3 (not including the obligatory fellatio joke)
A – 0
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Sen Stephen Conroy talks media ownership, internet censorship and K-Rudd

Yes, we have an actual politician on the show! This interview went to air on Show 276 and is here for all your glory (media – when borrowing this great interview, remember where you got it from and also remember to offer the three of us our own late night chat show, we are much better than Rove.)

Interview: http://www.archive.org/download/controyinterview/Conroy.mp3

Details: http://www.archive.org/details/controyinterview

EPISODE #274 – Flying the Unfriendly Skies

From balloons to SU-37s, to Silas Taylor from Get Up, to pole smoking – it was all there! Let’s sit back and relive those happy memories… or conversely I could just make some stupid comments about happenings and then post some really killer pics of Sukhoi aircraft.

… …

Oh alright – stuff you then!!

If you didn’t know, Pete has a thing for balloons. So when you mix ALP candidates and balloons together you get, well you get, well… this: Balloon Love. I mean look we’re happy for Pete! He loves the feel of rubber in the morning, the organic roundness of the surface, the way the end is tied SO seductively. So when Pete heard Maxine was using balloons for her campaign – he had to follow. Puffin’ Pete loves Maxine. It’s official! Now in a week where Little Johnny’s good pal Uncle Rupe Rupe gave him glowing poll results, we were watching Costello walk the walk.

You see, Peter Costello is a smug man now isn’t he? He jeered K-Rudd during the first election debate, he smirks and giggles at inappropriate moments. So when it came time to have a debate involving him we thought “Boo-yah! It’s on for young and old…”. Unfortunately for us, it was vs Wayne Swan. Not Swan fans it has to be said. Sure he’s a nice guy, he probably likes TV, playing with the kids, and mowing the lawn – but in truth he looks like Dracula. And not in a sexy way! But The Swan did us proud. He battled Puppet Pete, won some rounds, took some hits, generally looked a bit scary – but overall he did us proud. So WBF now has to say “Sorry Wayne”. Wayne… sorry!
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An issue of importance to us here at WBF in this next election is Community Radio. The government has been pretty quiet, in fact telling us that the government hasn’t cut funding (unlike disability services, medicare, education etc) – which is actually true! They haven’t. What they haven’t told you is that the number if stations has increased, so there’s the same amount to go around, to more and more people. Ah smoke and mirrors. Now young Helen Coonan, who’s portfolio it is in the current ministry has said it’s not an issue to be raised now. Well Helen – you’re wrong! Sooooo, as a special favour just to you, we’re going to continue to – loudly. Thanks for your time!

When Brendon Nelson was the Education Minister he had his own agenda – in fact vetoing grants the government doesn’t like on moral, ethical or colour palette grounds. Good to see he’s in charge of Defence! So when the government decides to buy the JSF (over budget, not the specs we ordered, and 15 years out of date by the time we get it) or the M1-A1 (2nd hand, over heats in tropical environments, bit of a white elephant) and tries to get away with it – i’m happy to oblige by hammering their heads in! So the Joint Strike Fighter is late and sucks – so young Brendon Nelson (earring… hello boys!!) decides to purchase and interim fighter bomber to assist with the “aging” F111s. He doesn’t seek advice, he just takes the word of McDonnell Douglass and buys it. Hmmmmmm. Well Brendon, let’s have a chat – just sit over there on the crate of FN P90s. The F111 is the premier strike bomber in the world today – yes even all these years on. NOTHING does what it does. It can flying full speed 9 metres off the ground. It’s supersonic! So to replace it with a) the JSF and in the interim b) the FA-18E (a good aircraft, but not a strike bomber is absurd!!). So lets look at our neighbours. What are they using? Oh they’re using these, these, and these. Personally i like the later… AND SO DOES EVERY EXPERT IN THE WORLD!!!

Lets move on…
Malcolm Turdbill isn’t interested in the rapidly increasing interest rates. He’s interested in the environment. So much so that he’s running a campaign in his local electorate that goes against 11 years of Howard Government policy. I mean it’s not like he’s… the Environment Minister or anything. Oh he is? Well bugger me!! Yes Turdbill loves Kyoto, his electorate loves Kyoto, but as we all know “global warming is a popular myth”. Thanks Little Johnny. What a pity the guy in your government with all the facts seems to disagree. Time for a policy about-face!!! Surprise surprise! Let’s see what happens when Tony Abbott and Turdbill duel it out for the leadership – you don’t think Costello’s going to get a chance do you?

Okay, time to wrap with Richard’s “Poll Smoking 101”. The polls agree that K-Rudd is in the lead, the polls agree it’s going to be tight. But some polls see a Howard Government comeback. The Senate must be taken – but will it be so. It’s just a matter of weeks – but as Richard smokes the Poll Pipe we will see if the worm really turns, or if Andrew Quah from Family First has just left his fly open… again!!

Fuck O Meter this week:
P: 3
R: 4
A: 0
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