For those of you interested in our APEC coverage, rounding up all the infringements of our civil liberties, here is the extract from Show 266 broadcast Tuesday 28th August 2007. This exists in our own free speech zone called the media.
After a battle with technology which saw me with a bloodied nose and 6 stiches, wbf show 265 will return to the DRM free digital airwaves next week.Â So, instead, we are proud to present to you show 266, which went to air last night.Â It’s fresh, it’s clean, it’s full of beautiful sounds that will make your heart sing, the birds in the air will go tweep, tweep until they cross over the wall of death, refuse to give their ID and then are shot by gun-toting paramilitary type nice people who are just doing their job protecting the delegates from the possibility of birds shitting on them.
With the classic Hollywood good looks and Jedi mind tricks of the Early Curly fading into the mist, the show can return to normal, minus 3 gerbils which mysteriously disappeared after Matt’s appearance.
It started well, Pete had a bad day and Richard had just recently returned to sleeping with Ben Affleck. With Matt Damon away filming it wasn’t difficult to get back on track, but we all worry about the expected sadness that will engulf him when Ben does what Ben does and this “Gigli” of relationships again goes sour.
Now the leap from boob jobs to Facebook would seem strained, but no – not on this show. You see in the US women can register on a website to have random guys pay for them to get a boob job. The men can send messages (at $1.50 US a message) to these girls, who can then get the $5,000 to get huge plastic boobs. Not a fan of huge plastic boobs myself, I’m thinking this could be a way to fund the War on Terror. If all the people who thought it was a good idea actually paid for it in this fashion, i think we’d see this war end sooner. Can’t see Haliburton eating into their profits to fund it!
Facebook has been getting a hammering! From Murdoch’s media empire protecting their own interest in the now advertising revenue dwindling MySpace, to a new company on the internet security scene using it to increase their profile. Poor old Facebook is now enemy No#1! Yes it will take your employees time away from work, destroy your bandwidth in the workplace, and rot your kids teeth. Facebook – expect it to hit the election trail rhetoric some time in the next 90 days!
K-Rudd found himself in a pickle recently after it was revealed by a reporter that he had visited a club in the US in 2003 where women were partly clothed. The reporter, “Pooh” Milne (known for his own very public excesses) has decided to help his long time friend little Johnny win an election. “Pooh” loves Little Johnny – while working at Channel 7 he helped him beat Keating, defended the GST and basically kept him afloat. Now this all comes out. Despite all that, K-Rudd’s been gaining in the polls – time will tell. I feel a tax cut coming pre-election…
Hey Mr President returned with the spotlight hitting Republican candidate Sam Brownback. Let’s not say the Republicans are behind the times, but this guys website is called Issues2000.org – i think we’ve moved on don’t you? Anyway, this guy came in 3rd at the recent Iowa Straw Poll, meaning he got lots of money!! Oddly Himmler came 2nd and Adolf Eikman polled extremely well to get 1st. Good showing from the Austrian veteran. The Brownback’s an ex-evangelist Christian Conservative from Kansas, believes in Intelligent Design and walks on the beach with his trusty gun dog Billy.
As you know all candidates in this section of the show are rated on 3 important criteria:
1] How many Social Networking Sites do you appear on – The Brownback = 5
2] How much merchandise – The Brownback = 8
3] How many ringtones – The Brownback = 0
For more on The Brownback hit his blog.
The countdown to APEC begins with all New South Wales residents told to keep off the streets or expect to be shot. Well not quite, but it seems like that! From fireworks for delegates (which we aren’t allowed to see) to water cannons which as i said the other week “Looking forward to the footage of female police cadets being soaked with that going up on YouTube! ” is nothing but trouble… Kids, we’re in for a bumpy ride!
The new segment Big Fucking Brother, which looks at stupid infringements by Authorities ironically debuted with:
1] Steve Fielding of Family First saying we should ban ALL pornography from the internet and
2] School uniforms in the UK being fitted with GPS.
Strangely certain Catholic priests find both of these subjects equally arousing…
Peaches this week told the unhappy story of Alex Zane who has taken a liking to Peaches. Young Alex decided to wrestle Peaches in a loving embrace during the recent ‘V’ Festival, where Peaches took the opportunity to flash her boobs and Johnny “%#@*^!” Tourettes had to line up with the punters. The two are not unrelated incidentally!
Now also on the programme we made mention of a video from YouTube showing the firepower in the US Presidential motorcade. So here it is:
The Fuck O Meter this week was oddly standard:
Yes, A Walk in the Black Forest does not shy away from a fight.Â Johnny nohope won’t come to us (and he is even a MEMBER) so we go to him. Well I do. And he wasn’t there. But it’s better than nothing, abusing his head with my cruel and witty verbiage
Â oh bite me…
Of course, you could read that wrongly and suggest in a really sad way that abe was played with by Matt Curley.Â Of course, we can’t talk about that, it’s still before the courts.Â In the meantime, here is show 264. peace out!
You see i leave early and Richard starts talking helicopters…
Now if i’d been there i could have said “That’s not a Black Hawk”.
See this is a Black Hawk:
This is more like what Richard meant (the new Australian Tiger chopper):
or maybe this (Apache – by taping the blades i assume it’s this):
Need military procurement advice? Call now!
Nothing more to say – just sky-larking…
Yes, ladies and ladies
Show 263 is ready for consumption, now, go fight the good fight.Â Peace out
In rhyme all is forgiven, but more of that later.
For some time now the Fuck-O-Meter has been pretty relaxed, some would say stagnant. Now personally that doesn’t bother me, but in an effort to bring this oft honed craft back to prominence, Richard and Peter decided to regale us all with the kind of oral gymnastics reserved for Paris Hilton after a game between the LA Raiders and the San Francisco 49ers – both teams of course. Be warned…
Via the extensive technology only the best in pseudo-stereo (sometimes called “mono”) can bring you, the terrestrial audience, and to a lesser extent those tuning in via the DRM-free were challenged by such thought provoking ideas as;
- Where does Alexander Downer’s foot go when it’s not in his mouth?,
- Did Dr Haneef become a doctor so he could train new orns in the art of “terror”?
- Was it really necessary for Avril Lavigne to release a new CD?
Someone has to ask the hard questions, and when it comes down to it, journalists can’t (or won’t) so we will.
Hey Mr President again asked the hard questions about the US Presidential Race – this time we reflected on ourselves. No we’re not running for US President (but if Martin Sheen can win…) this time we looked at the Presidential-style campaign of our very own ray of light Kevin Rudd. So in essence, Hey Mr
President Prime Minister took off! So Kevin’s in the running. Sure he’s a bit boring, overly managed, and has Wayne Swan hanging around like Nicole Ritchie at the Bolivian embassy – but he’s in the running, so he was given a chance in Pete’s spotlight. Pete has Kevin ’07 fever! He’s got a running nose, red eyes and feels the need to watch daytime TV – he’s sick i tell you!! So Kevin Rudd launches his new campaign on the net. Kevin ’07 it is, a US Presidential-style campaign driven by the internet and creating a fever pitch of excitement. From actual policies, to email updates, a call for people to enrol for voting, to merchandise, this cat is on the prowl! Little Johnny only has 100 days to live. Let the Countdown begin…
As you know all candidates in this section of the show are rated on 3 important criteria:
1] How many Social Networking Sites do you appear on – K-Rudd = 3.5
2] How much merchandise – K-Rudd = 3
3] How many ringtones – K-Rudd = 0, but he does have wallpaper, an email sig and mobile phone stuff…
Kevin ’07 is on track for a revolutionary win!
Meanwhile as the junta continues to grown on, APEC is coming Sydney’s way! Yay… oh dear!! The so called Ring of Steel has been erected, not too ironically just outside Alan Jones house. A Berlin Wall which will stand for 5 days to keep “bad people” from shopping – well what else would it be for? Not only that, but Sydney has bought a $60,000 super-soaker. That’s right, a water cannon. Looking forward to the footage of female police cadets being soaked with that going up on YouTube! If you need surgery and you won’t die without it, stay tuned because it’s been cancelled. All non-elective surgery is out. So Mr Downer, that little nip and tuck will have to wait! Plus at much extra cost, loud speakers will be installed throughout the CBD! Yes, Beijing and North Korea now have a Big Brother friend in Sydney. It’s time to go… Little Johnny!
There was something about Lindsay Lohan being the town bike – nothing new there – move on!!!
Now it was at this point i had to go, so the rest of the show was to be listened to and commented on – but alas… SOOOO, here’s my psychic synopsis:
- Richard swore at least 4 more times,
- Pete lost track of his material while Richard talked about something completely unrelated, but went somewhere after 10 minutes of confusion,
- Sexually transmitted diseases were discussed, and everyone’s orientation was questioned,
- Pete’s material turned up again, this time during Peaches, which ran out of time and the intro drowned them out,
- I was blamed…
Not bad, huh?!!
Now as mentioned at the top of the hour, the Fuck-O-Meter went psycho:
Better lock of all those foreign doctors up!!