Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
Get fucked, get fucked, get fucked, get fucked, get fucked
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
Get fucked, get fucked, get fucked, get fucked, get fucked
Happy birthday to me
The triumvirate back in action – heralds resound, birds take flight, deer prance in the fields… or is it birds resound, deer take flight and heralds prance in the fields – bloody hell i don’t know!!
John Howard is a leader – a strong ad virile leader, well so they want you to believe. But this week Pete revealed the truth. A truth hidden somewhere deep inside the DaVinci Code. Behind the backmasking on Beatles albums. Under the rose bush on the grassy nole. In fact Little Johnny is a weak man!!! He’s lied, he’s flip flopped on the GST – he is in fact a weak leader unable to keep the support of his party, a man deposed many times when opposition leader. He is a man without support!! He is Soft Cock John… What he needs is a united force around him, maybe a young and vibrant force of young people who like to sing and wear brown shirts – i don’t know, maybe something like the Howard Jugend.
With Coles making a “record profit” and still firing 2,000 workers while setting up their stores for an expected Walmart take over (all they really have to do is change the signs out the front) we wondered if Economic Rationalism could be flipped on it’s head. What about Human rationalism. Whenever the economy does badly let’s kill off the part which cost the most. How about the old? See it makes sense! Then when things seem rosier we can all procreate – in the streets if we make it a public holiday. Hell let’s film it and sell dvds on the net. Australia Goes Wild – National Orgy Volume 1. The yanks would eat it up. We could make a fortune. Australia, no longer meat pies and cork hats – it’s cream pies and engorged phats…
That may be the singularly grossest thing i’ve ever written – i apologise on behalf of me, myself and I…
This week Australia was on alert. The War on Terror continues with Soft Cock John under 24hour protection. His residence under camera observation, his grounds surrounded by barbed wire, armed guards at the ready. This however does not explain how a man was able to land on SCJ’s private wharf, while wearing camo gear in the middle of the night… AND NO ONE NOTICE HIM!!! If there really was a War on Terror he would have had a .50 cal shell between his eyes before he even looked at scaling the wire fence! Honestly people, if the War on Terror existed then we’d actually see people being protected. SCJ’s wife shops without security!! In the US they make a much better show of it. Ever wonder what’s under the White House lawn? These guys…
Now that my friend is security!!!
With Blogging becoming a real and politically ptotent tool – the US have decided that blogging is a threat. This guy, http://www.joshwolf.net/blog/ has been nabbed by the US authorities for filming something. Can you believe it? Using a handycam is now illegal – i wonder whether we could have a class action suit against Sony since we are now no longer able to use it as freely as advertised. “The Sony HD460 – High Definition video… but don’t use it in public…”! So not only do they see this guy as a threat – the forces of evil now do their own blogging! Yes the Republicans, now able to walk upright without dragging their knuckles on the ground, have learnt how to use the internet. Having splashed holy water over the console and keyboard, and prayed for redemption at using the devil’s tool, they have turned up on the net. They spray vitriolic hatred and lies, slander politicians and people who work in their communities to better people’s lives. What a proud way to live!!
Millions of Peaches this week saw Peaches’ dad in Norway – not too sure why, but he’s there and that’s along way from me – so i’m happy! He’s helping the poor while allegedly keeping his old band mates out in the cold! No royalties for the Boomtown Rats while Bob’s holding the purse strings! Not only is Bob potentially withholding roylaties, he’s also now faced with the fact that now only was his ex-wife shooting up Bolivia almost daily, she was also having an affair with a gay man! Is there something about Paula Yates we didn’t know… and conversley, what does this say about Peaches. Maybe Peaches is packing a few “peaches” of her own!!!
Okay Fuck ‘o’ Meter.
Richard takes the cake (how appropriate…) with 5 – yes you heard it right… 5! Pete on 0 (or maybe 1/2 depending on who you talk to) and Abe on 0 (or 1/2 if you talk to the same tool who heard Pete swear… Bloody Soft Cock John!!)
Show 234 is now up for your listening pleasure, with badly dubbed intro and outros intact. See what happens when Abe stays away…
With the absent Abe lost somewhere outside the perimeter fence of the Black Forest – it was up to Pete and Richard to hold the fort, stride forth and conquer.
With the Panel-Nazi away, things very quickly went down hill. I think the word sphincter was used more in the first 15 minutes than at the last Proctology Confernece… ironically held in Adelaide, it is the arse end of the world after all!!!
Then Pete found the electric seat button, frying Richard’s anus. Unusual device… didn’t know it was there. The electric dildo, yes, this device… no!!
Speaking of which – the real Nazis (you know, those small dicked, prejudiced, arrogant, small-world plebs) have made a comeback in the recent Baltic Coast elections. Little Johnny must be very proud, he must be looking forward to our next election – his constituents are already out in force.
The US death toll in Iraq has now surpassed the deaths in the 911/WTC attacks. That should make them feel proud. In fact the GOP have now started reimagining the term “casualties”. Generally the term “casualty” means those wounded and killed in combat. But now GWB and his Junta have decided that only those “killed” make the list of casualties. So just under 3,000 US personnel have been killed so far. Interestingly this doesn’t include the toll of civilians – which the Red Cross estimated in 2004 at 100,000 innocent people. That is non-combatants!! Women, children, and people in the way of the US onslaught. Doesn’t sound like the “surgical operation” it was meant to be…
God bless Burger King – they love America:
Kim Beazley is an idiot. Okay you want proof? He wants tourists to swear an oath to uphold Australian Values. There’s a good idea. Public violence against ethnic minorities, prejudice in employing people with non-Australian qualifications, a government that illegally imprisons refugees while they are “processed”. See it’s a great record!! In fact the last mass killing of Aboriginies in Australia was in the late 1920s – only 10 years before the Nazis shocked the world with their mass murderous reign. You can’t blame Little Johnny for it – but he won’t apologise for it, doesn’t feel we should apologise for it, in fact it’s all in the past. Hell it was only 10 years before “the greatest horror in history”… nothing to be sorry for!! She’ll be right, hey Little Johnny!?!
Peaches, Peaches, Peaches. Not only a DJ, and celebrity-child, but now a feminist ideolog. She’s gone ape-shit on Kate Moss saying she’s “unattainably thin”. She took a stand, she said some intelligent things… and then she got a job at Fashion Week. Probably a good place for her. Know how those fashion models stay so thin? The Columbian Bullet may have something to do with it, and you know how much Peaches loves a bullet. Peaches’ daddy, Boomtown Bobby, has been keeping a close eye on her (luckily not a close nostril – he’d be flying) and is now worried about her moving out with her new boyfriend DJ fucking-arsehole-yip-yip-sucky-knob. Columbia on the other hand are thrilled – they’ll be able to host the next World Cup on the proceeds of their new found trade deal.
Returning next week in full force!!!
OK peeps, Show 233 after the longest wait ever since the wait for Jesus Christ to return and wage a war of pestilance on all of us, we present, show 233
On the anniversary of the 11th of September, WBF took time to remember, reflect and question. Question the status quo we so readily accept from the media, from government, and from those ill-enough informed to spread the propoganda of both the afore-mentioned institutions.
Would 1109 still have happened if Gore won the election – probably! In fact once the US started clamping down on certain groups, i’m sure Gore’s wife would have wanted some stickers printed up just in case we started to think for ourselves… Democracy missing in action! The big question may uin fact how will GWB be remembered out of all this “War on Terror”. I personally think as a religious zealot who sent the poor of his country to kill those unable to defend themselves so certain corporate interests would make a profit. Can’t imagine seeing that in Time Magazine anytime soon. Maybe he’ll ljust be remembered as the guy who didn’t send ambulances to a cyclone quickly enough – because the lives of a few african-americans is probably easier to have on your conscience and in the history books than the 100s of thousands who’ve been killed in Iraq and Afghanistan… and for what exactly? To capture Saddam Hussein (they did that didn’t they?). To get the WMD (oh they don’t exist?). Or is it to capture Osama Bin Laden LIVE on Fox News… now the question is, do they want him to be caught – there’s still so much money to be made after all!!!
You know i like fruit!
But i’m really starting to HATE Peaches!!
Peaches Geldof; Spoilt little rich girl, celebrity DJ, MySpace junky [http://www.myspace.com/peachesislife], target of A Walk In The Black Forest. Each week her arse is ours – which makes a change – usually it belongs to the male population of Ibiza. Peaches, queen of the DJ scene and head of the Trash Pussies [http://www.myspace.com/trashpussies] is oh so cool. In fact so cool that she hangs out with the right people, goes to the right clubs, ingests only the trendiest opiates. But you know what – she still gets grounded when daddy says so. Our question is: what for? Maybe it’s for cleaning Pings stylus.
Pete loves Al Gore. Ian McFarlane doesn’t. Ian McFarlane works for Little Johnny. Ian McFarlane is an arsehole!
Speaking of Al Gore… do you think he has a MySpace page??
The usually fair SMH today ran with an editorial praising the efforts of Bush and the Howard juggernaut in linking the Iraq quagmire back to the fight on ‘terror’ (TM).Â There was also a sourced story from the “New York Daily News” about the GOP plan to use 9-11 (Or 11th September) family members to give “non-political” interviews linking ‘terror’ (TM) to the war in Iraq.Â John Howard, emotionally moved, as he implied that we will once again stay until the ‘job’ is done has committed Australia to continue this fight against an enemy that does not exist, with a victory that can never won, or a mission that can never be accomplished.Â Because all we are fighting is our own shadow.Â And let’s be brutually honest, the process of fighting your own shadow is pointless, but it sure keeps you busy and constantly on the watch for an enemy you can’t see but is always there.
WBF Show 232 is now online for your love and attention.
Live from rarely used studio 11
No bovines were harmed in the production of this show, although I did have prawn tempura before it…Pete is a prawn killer
You see technology is a wonderful thing; cars, electricity, unrestricted access to hardcore pornography. But technology is also a burden – a yolk if you will. And that yolk was certainly around WBF’s show this week. Script ready i plunged into the abyss of the introduction (am i ruining an illusion by telling you i script that intro?) but as luck would have it… the microphone was working for the Forces of Meaness and rebelled against the WBF Collective. After a stealthful studio change – not even noticeble to the human ear – WBF was relaunched from Studio 11… not used since the civil unrest of 1923. Some thought it lost – but behind the pile of WHAM vinyl we found it!
So after blowing away the cobwebs – the show was off and racing. So much so that by 10:50 the Fuck-O-Meter was peeking like Lindsay Lohan on a Firday night. Richard had already dropped 3, Pete had one, and in a fit of frustration at the equipment falling apart – i had 2… it was to build!!
Rickard, always the trend-setter (He’s been predicting the return of the flares for 4 years now… it will happen – but probably with the arse rather than his butt-free version!!) informed us of the new Red Bull Coke. Is it Red Bull, is it Coke? Coke in a Red Bull can. I think the slogan is “Thin to the grip so you can slide in in fast”… that or “Coke – it’s got wings”.
Pete’s conundrum from last week resurfaced with the “Finding a Virgin” game show. Where Christian fundamentalists have to find the right virgin to implant Jesus’ DNA for the 2nd coming. Richard was anxious to help – untill we told him about the lightning round and then he started to question his stamina! That being said – the investigation would be handled in the most professional of manners – after all we aren’t journalists.
While “fighting the power”, as we do each week – New Orleans reared it’s head. Even though GWB did a great job of not noticing Hurricane Katrina, apparently Donald “The Donald” Trump did. Now this didn’t mean compassionate aid, or maybe interest free loans for people who lost their houses… no – it meant being able to buy land very VERY cheaply. He really will go to hell won’t he! The Australian media continue their stirling coverage of world events and reported on how the Australians (who left New Orleans 12 months ago) are now doing. One would think a hell of a lot better than those still trying to rebuild their lives in the ruins of what is left of the city.
Keeping up with the trends – Richard told us about the invetor of the Neutrino. I like the term inventor! You see he apparently “discovered” Neutrinos.
This is a Neutrino:
Not only did he “discover” Neutrinos, he also “discovered” a way to test for them and detect them. A bit like my Dinotrendal anomoly detector.
“Oh look, there’s a Dinotrendal anomaly…”
“Can’t see it?”
“Oh that’s because you need my supervison spectral imaging device…”
Genius!!! Science – what an amazing religion it has turned out to be – and aren’t we the stooges for believing every word of it…
So what will happen next week?
I’m bringing in my own microphone, Richard’s bringing in some Neutrinos in a Coke can, and Pete’s bringing in a hamster… not entirely sure why, and not too sure i’m going to hang around to see!
Okay, i know this is late… take it like John Travolta – i’ll leave that one up to your informed discretion!!
Like a phoenix streaking across the sky, we too seemingly had our pants on fire. (Do phoenixs have pants?).
WBF’s first live cross in it’s present incarnation went off without a hitch. Apart from the phone not working and CIA bugging us, it was fine! As the previous links illustrate, Trina joined us from laborrights.org to collectively inform, enforce and kick arse against the capitalist overlords that are False-mart. Trina has a background in many many campaigns, and her insight into the issue certainly opened our minds (or mind if you would prefer).
Happily, after bringing down the power-elite, we were back on much more familiar ground… Geldof (wasn’t he in Lord of the Rings?). His lovely daughter Peaches, remember her? She likes to use the work “c*nt” and DJs in Ibiza while SOMEHOW still being able to keep up a busy working life being the daughter of a famous person. Must be tough!! Not only is Peaches a DJ in her own right, she’s opened her life to another DJ – DJ Ping, named for his incredibly poor taste in women. She is the Pong to his Ping. That, or he just such a small cock they use a sonar to get the ‘ping’ of it… the mind boggles!! So Peaches is, according to the UK press, a devotee of what is called a ‘bullet’. I too would like her to be more familiar with the ‘bullet’, but mine would be coming from a HK G36C. THIS ‘bullet’ however is not of the 5.56 calibre variety – it’s of the Columbian variety – delivered via cigarette into the nasal passages – well according to the UK press it is anyway. Who am i to say… mine comes from Wollongong. Bob has defended his daughters interest in South American cultural exports, saying that she’s young and impressionable. Obviously mummy taught her well… if you take it nasally it tends to not leave too much of an impression!
You know the Nazis left us with a strong cultural understanding of many things. How to build roads (while enslaving and killing millions), how to engage in mechanized warfare (while killing millions) and how best to describe John Howard’s policies towards immigrants and anyone not Christian! But in downtown Mumbai, where the food is hot and Punjabi MC is hotter, they have a very different idea. See Hitler – apparently is a very good way to sell a food franchise. Not the Golden Arches, but the Black Swazstika! This new chain of restuarants, all decked out in Nazi iconography has been suprisingly popular, with dishes like Satay Chicken Speers, Adolf Rissoles (you only get one – it’s an entree), Himmler Hamburger (packed with pork) and of course Eggplant Stabzi (it comes in a commemorative Night of the Long Knives plate). Maybe we’ll have one here soon…
Pete dazzled us with his Metaphysical Conundrum – so much so that it delayed this update by many days. The earth is still slowing from the momentum built around this theory. Apparently they’re digging up Einstein as we speak so he can come up with an answer and then years later we can find out he was wrong. Not Pete, Einstein, Pete’s never wrong – fool!!!
The weekly Fuck-O-Meter was interesting with me kicking off the batting. 11:21 fresh from the tales of Peaches and her fuzzy cheeks i could not hold myself back! There were a few other chippers in, but after Richard quoted the word “c*nt” i was lost! It all went to hell-in-a- John-Travolta’s-handbag!
Rock out – party on – the only good Nazi is a dead Nazi!!